


i'm never letting you go

by ADyingFlower



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Child Abuse, Dolls, Gen, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 21:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADyingFlower/pseuds/ADyingFlower
Summary: Keith loves his new toys, the old Paladin Series dolls.And they love him too. Very much.





	i'm never letting you go

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Keith, I'm sorry

“Here you go, Keith.” Laura smiles at him, dropping the box at the foot of the bed. “I saved you some of the toys from the Children’s Foundation earlier today, why weren’t you downstairs with the rest of the kids?”

Keith gestures to his bandaged foot, crawling across the bottom bunk to peek into the cardboard box. Most of the good toys were already taken, no surprise, but a plastic bag at the bottom with a couple of action figures inside catches his eyes, like he's being pulled towards it. Slowly, he reaches into the bag, pulling out the toys from the bag and neatly lining them up next to him. 

His social worker leans over his shoulder, ignoring his stiffening as she laughs directly next to his ear. “The Paladin series! They were all the rage when I was a kid, but kids these days just play on holopads or those virtual reality games. Surprised someone donated them, they would make a pretty penny online.”

She ruffles his hair, not minding one bit when he doesn’t respond to her Okay Touch. “Well, I have to head back to the office now, but if you need anything just ask Anna, okay?” 

Anna, the lady who runs the group home, and regularly called Keith mean names. Yeah right.

But Laura is (mostly) nice, so he nods his head, grabbing the first of the five figurines. All of them are old and battered, like most of the stuffed animals Keith gets for Christmas or his birthday, but he still gently rubs at the dirt smudged on its face. He waits until Laura leaves him in his room alone before he goes back into the box, grabbing the scraps of paper he noticed earlier at the bottom of the bag. 

_ Say hello to your new Black Paladin! _ The paper reads, and Keith puts the one with the yellow armor down and picks up the one in the middle. _ Takashi “Shiro” Shirogane is Voltron’s calm and collected leader, who’s fiercely protective of the other Paladins. Shiro lost his right arm while being held captive by the Galra - Voltron’s mortal enemy, so he instead fights with his metal replacement. Nevertheless, Shiro still fights on for the sake of the universe. _

Keith stares at the page, rereading it several times. Most of the words don’t make sense to him, but he gets the general idea of it. 

Flicking his gaze to the Paladin in his hand, he raises the toy above his head, letting Shiro fly above him. Shiro, who leads the other Paladins. Shiro, who’s a _ hero_. 

Bringing the toy close to his bruised face, Keith smiles slightly, ignoring the sting of his split lip. “Shiro,” he mumbles.

He sits back up again, shifting Shiro’s legs and arms until he’s in a comfortable sitting position and props him up against the box. 

And then he reads the rest of the papers.

_ The Red Paladin Lance, a self declared ladies man and the sharpshooter of the team - _

Lance gets sat next to Shiro, his head resting on the Black Paladin’s shoulder. His left knee seems a little shaky in the joint, so Keith splints it with one of his shoelaces and promises himself to try and keep it straight from now on. 

_ Katie “Pidge” Holt, who despite her age, is an incredibly talented hacker - _

On Shiro other’s side, Pidge sits up proudly on her own. It looks like she once wore glasses if the cartoon imagine on the paper is any hint, but they must have been lost at some point. Keith can’t do anything but whisper sorry. 

He’s always sorry. 

_ Yellow Paladin Hunk, a kind and soft spoken diplomat bellied by his large strength - _

Hunk is huge! Even taller than Shiro’s! He laughs sheepishly as he puts him down next to Lance, because the paper says they’re best friends. Keith’s never had a best friend before, so he hopes that means they get along really well.

_ The former Princess of Altea, Allura took up the title of the Blue Paladin - _

Her hair is so messy. What once might have been an off white was now a grey, tangled mess. He has to blink back tears as he runs his finger down the back of her hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, rocking back and forth. “I’m sorry.” 

Keith lets her be by Pidge. Maybe Pidge will have some hair tips for Allura, though Pidge’s own hair is as short as the rest of the figurines. Maybe she's a tomboy. 

Leaning down until he’s lying on his stomach, Keith rests his chin on his crossed arms, smiling goofily at all his new toys.

“Form Voltron,” he says quietly - can never be too loud or he’ll get in trouble - and giggles. 

Even if Anna takes away his toys tomorrow, he has something of his own for at least one day. It’s more than he ever thought he would get. 

✖️✖️✖️

Anna doesn’t take away his toys.

“Laura brought those for you?” She asks, jutting her chin out at the Paladins sitting in his lap. The older Kyle (not the middle one, or the two younger ones) already tried to touch them, but all Keith had to do was bare his teeth and he backed off. The kids here are so skittish compared to his last group home. If he tried that with Tyler at his old home, he would have had his chin grabbed and his head bashed into a wall.

Oh wait. That’s what did happen. 

He nods slowly, spooning another mouthful of the applesauce and chomping on the metal until his teeth rung. It feels funny, in a nice way. 

She scoffs, but doesn’t make any move to take his toys away from him, muttering ‘retard’ under her breath before shouting at one of the boys in the hallway to stop running, turning her back to him. 

With her attention no longer on him, Keith hurriedly grabs several rolls from the bowl in the middle of the table and shoves them into his pockets. Bundling up the Paladins, he tiptoes around her and limps back up to his room, ignoring the rest of the kids around him. There’s volunteers today, but Keith doesn’t like talking to them. They always look at him funny, eyeing his bruises as Anna hurries to explain that he gets into fights a lot. He hasn't gotten into fights in forever! He doesn't get why she doesn't just say that it's cuz of Sherry. Laura bought him his stuffed hippo when he was in the hospital for the week and treated him really nice the whole time. 

Luckily, none of his roommates are there when he gets to his room, but he climbs under his bed regardless, hidden by the thick comforter. 

The rolls get set down next to the rest of his food stores, the stale bread and spoiled sweets. It’s still better to have something when Anna will inevitably get frustrated with him and not feed him for the day. Christina did that at the last home, and Jacob at the home before that. 

“‘M not stupid.” He confides in his Paladins in the darkness under the bed, setting down Shiro by his stuffed hippo, and then Allura a little farther back.

There’s no narration, but he mouths their lines as Lance, Hunk, and Pidge find a crash sight in the desert, where Shiro landed in his escape from the evil Galra. Eventually, Lance finds the Blue Lion, and they take off to outer space to meet with Princess Allura to fight Zarkon.

Sometimes, his door open and footsteps pace around the room before disappearing back out. Each time, Keith ignores them, playing on in silence as he says their lines without once speaking. 

It’s better not to speak. It’s better to just stay quiet and hope that they won’t find you. 

He comes down to dinner, keeping the Paladins safely in his lap as he chows down his soup. No solid foods, that’s one of Laura’s rules. Not after the surgery. His belly doesn’t like them anymore, unless he chews for several minutes. 

When he goes to bed that night, he tucks all of them in a row next to him, mouthing goodnight at all of them.

They’re his toys, and he’ll take the best care of them he can. 

✖️✖️✖️

Weird things start happening after that. 

Sometimes, he swears the Paladins move when he’s not watching them. He’ll leave them tucked beneath the bed when Laura takes him to the hospital for a check up on his stitches, only to come back to all of them sitting in front of the door, as if they were waiting for him to come home. Allura’s hair stays tangled up no matter how much he washes it in the sink and tries to gently brush it with a stolen doll comb that a couple older girls shoved his face in the toilet for (at least they didn't have the blue stuff, that always hurts his eyes really bad), so when he goes to bed depressed, he’s utterly shocked to find Allura’s hair clean and floofy, like a cloud around her head, the next morning.

(Of course, Keith has to compliment her, which makes her plastic smile seem a bit bigger.) 

They keep…wandering off, too. Anna stomps into his room one morning, dropping Hunk carelessly on his bed and ignoring Keith’s frantic scramble to make sure she didn’t break anything.

“Stop leaving your fucking shit everywhere,” she spits out, grabbing him by his shoulders and shaking him roughly. “Are you allowed in the kitchen? No! So keep you stupid toys out of it, or I’ll give you a reason to cry.” 

Keith sniffs, hurriedly nodding, anything to stop the Bad Touch. She pushes him one more time before stalking off, slamming the door behind her.

Glancing down at Hunk, he carefully nurses the Yellow Paladin against his chest, stopping his dramatic rescue of Slav that required more room than he had under his bed.

He never goes in the kitchen - not where Anna or the volunteers could see him. So why was Hunk in the kitchen?

Keith doesn’t care enough to find out, until Anna finds Pidge downstairs with the TV left on only two days later. She storms towards him, cornering him in the hallway, and the other kids in the hallways look away as she bloodies her fist against his face. 

When he stumbles back to his room, finally alone, he cups Pidge tenderly even as his leaking nose and lip stain the end of his sleeve, a droplet of blood spilling onto Pidge’s armor before he hurriedly wipes it off.

“Please don't do that again.” He begs them, maybe the most words he’s said out loud in months. “Please.”

He doesn’t know if they listen, but Anna doesn't find the Paladins around the house again. Keith spends the night huddled under his bed, nibbling on one of his now stale rolls and waiting out his bloody nose. The castle gets attacked, and Lance gets injured, but not to worry! Shiro and the others rescue him and Hunk has a crush on a rock, ew. 

Laura brings him to the hospital again a week later to have the rest of his stitches removed, and Keith brings his paladins with him, keeping them carefully tucked against his chest. 

The doctor pokes at the bruises forming on his belly from Anna when Gavin blamed him for spilling paint on her white carpet, clicking his tongue. “How did you get these?”

Laura answers before Keith can even think of an explanation, not that he would ever say it. “Roughhousing, you know how boys are.”

“For sure,” the doctor snorts, spraying something cold over his forehead and side. “I have two at home, I’m always having to tear them apart.”

The two of them continue to chat back and forth while he has his stitches pulled out of his skin, keeping Shiro close to him the entire time. The other Paladins wait by his side, unblinking gaze fixed on the doctor. 

“Is he talking yet?” The doctor asks Laura, only for his social worker to shake her head.

“Neither me or the home’s head have heard a peep. Do you think somethings…?” Laura raises her hand, pointing at her head and spinning her finger in some kind of hidden meaning.

The doctor smiles, if a bit sadly. “It’s a possibility. He might also be traumatized, surviving an…incident, like that.” 

Keith draws Shiro closer to him, hiding his face behind his hair. The two of them go silent, and that’s the way it stays for the rest of the visit. 

Laura drives him back to the home, occasionally glancing back in the rear view mirror at him. “Keith…you know I had to to tell him that, don’t you? I know Anna can get a little angry, but she’s truly a good person. She’ll lose her job over this, and she might even go to jail. You don’t want to send a friend of mine to jail, do you? Just…stay out of the way for a while.”

…

What can he do? 

Keith nods slowly, his bottom lip trembling, and spends the rest of the ride with the Paladins focused on saving the Balmera, pushing his own emotions to the background. 

✖️✖️✖️

Keith curls up underneath his bed, gently patting the Paladins. “‘M sorry I don’t talk.”

A shuddering breath. He blinks his wet eyelashes, his entire chest aching strangely. He’s avoiding Anna, he swears! But it didn’t matter, she hits him anyways. Not nearly as hard as his previous foster home did, at least. His belly still hurts, though. 

“‘M sorry. I’m sorry.” He sobs, choking on the strangled whine that got stuck in his throat. “Sorry.”

He eventually falls asleep like that, quieting his cries so that no one else can hear him. 

✖️✖️✖️

When he wakes up, his toys are piled around him, as if they were trying to cocoon him during the night. 

Keith blinks at the blanket that's supposed to be on his bed draped over him, glancing several times between the soft fabric and the Paladin. They remain unmoving, but Shiro’s positioned to face him, expression blank. 

“I….” he clinks this mouth shut, staring at Shiro for a long moment. Slowly, he reaches out for him, cuddling him close as he lies back down. “Thank you.”

✖️✖️✖️

Shiro’s face changes the next morning, his usual stern expression melted into a soft, almost loving smile, eyes fixed on Keith’s sleeping face.

✖️✖️✖️

The adults are talking the next room over, voices hushed as they murmur about him as if he can’t hear them. There’s Laura, and Anna, and a couple other adults he doesn’t know the names of. 

Another foster family is interested in him. Keith huddles close around Lance, mouthing to himself Lance’s confident lines. He wishes he could be like Lance, though maybe not his grossness towards Allura. She’s way too pretty for holding hands. 

One of the volunteers sits next to him, keeping him company in the office room. They’re alone. 

The volunteer clears his throat. “Hey Keith,” he says, voice deceptively soft. “I’m Joey, nice to meet you.”

Keith peers up at him out of the corner of his eyes, noting his graying hair and crow’s wrinkles around his eyes before nodding a little bit, going back to playing as Lance and Hunk saving the mermaids.

"You're very pretty, you know that?" Joey continues talking, throwing an arm over his shoulders. Keith stiffens, shuddering as Joey keeps tugging him closer to him. Bad Touch! He doesn't like this. 

“Later, do you want to come with me for a bit?” Joey asks, ducking his head down to pin Keith with a stare he pales at. “I bet you’re lonely, right? Such a quiet boy like you.”

No, no no Keith doesn’t like this no - 

Joey removes his hand moments before Laura bustles out of the office, and Keith scurries out of his seat and takes her hand before she’s even out three steps, shivering at the shift from Bad Touch to Okay Touch. 

She laughs, ruffling his hair that he barely even feels. “Missed me that much, huh?” 

Keith doesn’t say anything, only holds his treasured Paladins tighter against his chest, Lance's and Hunk's severe frowns hidden in the folds of his oversized shirt.

He sleeps under the bed, that night.

✖️✖️✖️

Lance and Pidge disappear for a bit, the next day. He would normally worry, but he wakes up with a blanket pulled right over him and the other three Paladins curled up next to him, a juice box and a cup of applesauce on the floor that didn't come from his food storage. 

He takes the hint and spends the day where it’s safe, Allura and Hunk teaming up to find gems in the belly of a giant space whale. At one point, he must have dozed off, because when he wakes up, Lance and Pidge are back.

Frowning, he carefully grabs Pidge, licking his thumb and scrubbing at the reddish brown all over her shoes. Lance is even worse - it’s somehow matted to the front of his armor, even all over his hands. 

“Where did you go?” He asks, but they don’t answer. 

He still cuddles them close that night, gurgling the iron taste out of his mouth and into the bathroom sink. 

✖️✖️✖️

(Joey never comes back, and if Anna looks a little freaked out, well, what does he care?)

✖️✖️✖️

Keith tilts his head at Laura's phone as they wait in the lobby at the doctor's office, squinting at the small and blurry words. 

"Here," Laura says kindly, tilting the phone towards him. "I was curious about where you got those toys - I mean, those are collector editions items - but turns out they were donated to the Children's Foundation after the owner's death." 

She's only midway down the article, so Keith hesitantly flicks his finger, eyes widening at the bloody walls and floor. Laura swears something under her breath and hurriedly turns the phone away, but it's too late. 

Keith glances down at his Paladins, shakily petting their heads and almost sad expressions. 

✖️✖️✖️

Anna screams at him, words he can’t understand past the rush in his head. He didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t do anything wrong -

_ Crunch _

He shrieks, thrashing underneath her boot. It hurts, it hurts, it _ hurts_! 

One of the older girls rush in, gaping at the scene before tugging Anna off of him. They’re speaking, works like “retard” and “arrested”, but he only bundles up his toys and sprints out of the room, sobbing a little bit as his left arm aches sharply.

Getting under his bed is pure agony, but he does it anyways, pressing his back against the far wall and straining his ears for any sign of Anna following him up the stairs even as the stale rolls dig into his bag and the old faded bruises there.

Silence.

He’s safe, for now. 

Tenderly, he rotates his wrist, hissing out in pain as he wiggles each of his fingers. Nothing’s broken, it looks like. It would hurt more, anyhow. 

“Dunno what I did wrong,” he sniffles to his Paladins, petting Allura’s hair carefully. “Just walking by, just, just.” 

Shaking his head, he buries his face in his knees, dropping the Paladins next to him. “Bad boy. ‘M a bad boy. What Sherry said. Tried to be good. Stayed quiet, did everything. Dunno what I did. She hurt me anyhow.” He mimed the action, Sherry’s tear-stained angry face as she raised the kitchen knife high above her head still burned behind his eyes.

“She’s in jail now. Dunno why. Bad boy.” He rocks himself back and forth, scratching at his knees. “Bad boy, bad boy, bad boy -”

A soft touch breaks him out of his mantra, forcing Keith to glance up. His Paladins crowd around him, all then with their heads resting trustingly on his shins.

“Love you,” he murmurs, falling down around them. “Thank you.” 

✖️✖️✖️

A scream jerks him out of his sleep. Keith pokes his head out from underneath the bed, seeing his roommate sit up slowly in his. 

“_Ms. Anna!” _Someone shrieks again, and they exchange glances before scrambling out of the room. 

Their bedroom is right near the stairs, so Keith is one of the first to see Anna. 

She’s at the bottom of the stairs, but something's wrong. 

Her neck shouldn’t be bent like that.

A hand covers his eyes. “_Don’t look_,” someone rasps.

But it’s too late. 

✖️✖️✖️

“Here you go, sweetie.” Laura whispers to him, handing him Hunk with the most kindness he’s ever seen out of her. Her eyes are glossy and her all black outfit makes her light hair even paler, like she’s a ghost walking. “You forgot him in the kitchen.”

Keith cautiously takes Hunk, spinning him around in his hands. He’s sure that he went to bed with all five of them, so why?

“I have to go now, but there’s some volunteers downstairs and I’ll be back soon. You’ll spend the night at another home for now, so pack your things, okay?”

He nods, but hesitates for a moment. Then he pats her head - Good Touch. 

Laura laughs, wiping her eyes. “Thanks bud, I needed that.” 

Keith sits on the bed for a long time, even after she leaves, just staring at his bruised arms. Then, only when the grandfather clock from downstairs begins to chime, does he crawl underneath the bed. 

There’s a freshly baked muffin sitting on a plate. 

Keith stares at it for a long moment. Glancing back at Hunk still in his hand, he kisses the top of his head, closing his eyes briefly

“Thanks.” He says, before digging in. 

It’s the best muffin he’s ever had. 

✖️✖️✖️

The new home is overcrowded, but they give him blankets to sleep on the floor and the head of it is much too busy to ever pay him attention. 

He doesn’t mind. He has his Paladins, and that’s all he needs. 

✖️✖️✖️

More incidents start cropping up. 

A boy who makes fun of his hair gets locked in the upstairs bathroom for hours. 

The volunteer that likes to touch his back and neck ends up tripping and breaking their ankle. 

His doctor’s car breaks down before his appointment, forcing him with another pediatrician who eyed Laura strangely and gave Keith a lollipop. 

Keith doesn’t think anything of them at first, but they start to poke at him. Nag in his head, like chirping little sparrows. 

But he doesn’t say anything. He keeps his mouth shut, only letting small hums escape him when others can hear. 

And then, he doesn’t have time to think about it all. 

✖️✖️✖️

“Chelsie and Derek are very sweet, they’ll treat you wonderfully I'm sure.” Laura assures him on the drive over, keeping her gaze firmly on the road. “And, of course, I’ll be doing frequent in-home visits, and you’re free to call me whenever on my emergency number, you know the drill.”

He hums, prancing Allura across his lap. Her hair is braided back for this special occasion, and he wiped all of their armors until they shined. 

“They’re also willing to help you learn sign language, and even take you to a specialist.” Laura continues, but Keith tunes her out. 

It’s all the same in the end. They'll be nice, and then Keith will be Keith, and they'll hate him, and hit him or not feed him, and Laura finds out because Laura knows _everything _and it's back to a different group home. At least he'll have a room to himself for a little while. 

Chelsie and Derek are nice, that’s for sure. He does his best to make himself smile and likable, even learning a few clumsy signs. They coo over him, and Laura leaves him there after having them sign some last minute paperwork. 

_ Ah_, he thinks later, as he watches his doorknob turn in the middle of the night, the desk chair carefully wedged underneath it for this very purpose. Stella at Jacob's home taught him that trick - she was really nice, but she got too old and they sent her away somewhere else. 

Guess he shouldn’t be so surprised. 

When the Mr. or the Mrs. of the household eventually leaves, he gently cradles the Paladins in his arms, nuzzling his toys preciously. "You're the best," he murmurs to his toys, his Paladins. "Wish you were alive…:" He whispers, feeling something twinge painfully in his chest.

He ends up staying up for as long as he can before exhaustion gets to him, knocking him out just as the sun starts to rise. 

✖️✖️✖️

They’re not here. 

The Paladins aren’t here. 

Keith tears apart his bedroom, barely noticing that the desk chair was removed from the door and tucked back neatly under the arts and crafts table. They’re gone, they’re gone, they’re gone! 

No no no no, Keith can’t live without them, they’re the only things that made these past few months livable. Please, please -

Without realizing, he crouched down on the ground, covering his ears as he started to sob, not even bothering to stifle the noise. What’s the point? What’s the point to _ anything_? 

A hand touches his shoulder, than his arm. “Hey, hey buddy, we’re right here.” 

Keith’s eyes fly open. 

“S-Shiro?”

It’s Shiro. It’s really Shiro. He’s crouching down in front of Keith, eyes gentle as always. There’s no Paladin armor, but the metal arm is still there, along with the white tuff in his hair and the scar across his face. 

“Sorry we took so long.” Shiro smiles at him, motioning his head towards the doorway. 

Lance, Pidge, Allura, Hunk… 

Everyone’s there. 

There’s strange clothes on them, and weird stains on their shoes and their sleeves, but they’re real. They’re _ human_. 

“Uh, uh,” Keith tears up, stumbling to his feet with his arms open. 

And they’re there. They’re _ here_. 

The hug is _ so _warm. 

“Hush now,” Allura whispers into his hair. “There’s no more need of tears. We’ll take care of you now.” 

Keith nods furiously, biting his lip against the sting of happy tears in his eyes. 

Shiro folds his arms around him, and then he’s several feet above the ground, being held securely against Shiro’s chest. He grips Shiro’s vest tightly, panicking a little bit as he hides his face away from the Good Touch. 

Long fingers brush his bangs up, forcing him to meet blue eyes. “Don’t worry, little dude. Everything’s going to be alright.” 

Keith smiles back at Lance, shakily nodding his head. “Uh-huh.” 

Hunk pushes his head down into Shiro’s shoulder as they step out of his room, Pidge handing him his stuffed hippo. She’s finally wearing glasses now, and they look good on her. 

He tells her as much, and she laughs, eyes shining. 

There’s a strange smell in the living area, like old pennies. It’s so strong he whimpers, pinching his nose shut. Shiro runs a hand through his hair, a quiet “I know, I know,” being murmured to him. 

“We love you, Keith.” Hunk tells him, and while his head is still being held firmly down, Keith grins himself silly anyhow. They’re here. He’s not alone anymore. 

“Love you too.” 


End file.
